The way we connect determines the way we experience the world.
Most of my clients:
Love and respect their partners/spouses but miss the times when they felt truly seen and known.
Want to change ingrained patterns that inhibit intimacy and cause resentment.
Are working to recalibrate after a big life transition.
Long to feel more awake and alive inside their lives.
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Premarital
In-laws, money, sex, children, traditions, goals, and dreams: Shared Vision and Purpose
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Stage of Life
Having babies, raising children, changing careers, making big decisions, navigating impasses: Adulting as a Team
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Added Complexity
Polyamory, open relationships, conscious divorce, blended families, identity shifts: Love Outside the Lines
Hey y’all. I’m Lindsey.
I work with clients who want to move beyond baseline and into a life filled with joy, vitality, and deep connection. Who long for more than “everything is fine.” Who are ready to dig into the risky, sometimes-scary work of peeling back the layers and saying the unsaid thing. You might be looking to reignite that breathless, gut-punch, up-all-night feeling with your beloved. You might be looking to attend to hurt, address trauma, and cultivate a deeper, more aware relationship. The theme in my sessions is secure functioning and increased connection. Our work will require courage, commitment, and willingness to lean into discomfort. It can be messy. I’ve found, however, in my work with clients and in my own life, that the most profound shifts happen right inside the mess.
Themes in Couples Sessions
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Difficulty with trust isn't always born of outright lying. Sometimes folks struggle to let their partners see their inner world because of past hurts. Other times they don't say what they need to say because they're afraid of hurting feelings. In session, we'll work to make what is implicit--unstated expectations, assumptions, inner turmoil, hidden fears--explicit and strengthen your faith in your partner's ability to see and care for all of you.
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This is what most couples say they want to do better when they call to book a session. So much of communication is non-verbal and most of what we take in is colored by stories we make up in our heads. Honing the ability to read and trust what your partner's body is saying is a superpower. Work on speaking your truth and needs clearly, and consciously attending to your partner with patience, kindness, and curiosity.
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Common hinderances to productive conflict resolution are: getting caught in the fight-flight-freeze response to triggers, getting bogged down in the details of an argument and missing the underlying need, and dying on the hill of being right. We'll interrogate and dismantle old patterns of disagreement, learn co-regulatory skills, and build a new structure for navigating disagreement productively.
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It's tough to feel satisfied in a relationship when partners feel at odds about what they each value and desire. When people forget that what's best for the partnership is what's best for the individuals, relationship often becomes adversarial. Sessions can help you function as a team, using humor, creativity, and seduction as tools.
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When relationships fall into autopilot or turmoil it can be difficult to remember how fun it is doing life with your favorite person. Tune into why you chose each other in the first place, reinvigorate your sense of adventure and play, and examine hinderances to and initiators of your own desire
Trusted By
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As a teacher of young children, I have had the privilege of seeing the effect of Lindsey's support of the parents of my students. Lindsey demonstrates empathy, compassion and skill in helping parents navigate the complexities of raising children in today's challenging world. Her expertise in family dynamics provides invaluable insight for couples adjusting to raising children.
Elizabeth Hall, First Grade teacher
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Lindsey is a highly skilled clinician who I trust sending my couples to. She is kind, authentic, and truly cares about the work she does. I can honestly say that I know that those who choose her will receive exceptional care.
Pam Bean, LMFT-temp (under supervision of Musing Luchembe TN #1260)
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I highly recommend Lindsey. Her passion for helping clients thrive, paired with her extensive knowledge of relational dynamics, truly sets her apart. Lindsey's clients benefit immensely from her unwavering dedication not only to her continuous training but also to being an exceptional therapist. Her intelligence and well-researched approach ensure that she provides insightful and effective guidance, making a significant positive impact on the lives of the clients she works with.
Lucy Kozak Cesnik, LMFT
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I've always been impressed by Lindsey's emotional intelligence. She's hard working, perceptive, and dedicated to fostering a safe and inclusive environment. In addition to her professional achievements, Lindsey is a devoted mother, partner, advocate, and I am lucky to call her a friend.
Anna Myint, Co-Owner, International Market
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Lindsey has the uncanny ability to make you feel safe, comforted and challenged, all at the same time. Her compassion is immediately evident and she deeply desires to walk you through the challenges of life. There are few people I ever let my guard down for, and Lindsey is someone who provides that safe and non-judgmental space for anyone and everyone. There is truly no one I could recommend more - Lindsey not only talks the talk, she lives and breathes authenticity and truly listens and hears you.
Jason Jenkins, SVP, Marketing, Creative, and Touring, Curb Records
I Most Often See:
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Uncover fears, clear away hurts from the past, and build the foundation for a marriage you want and deserve
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I get it because I am it. There are excellent straight clinicians, but it's a big exhale when your therapist shares your lived experience. I uniquely understand what it is to be queer in the world and in relationship, and you are always safe in my room.
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The life of a helping professional can be as taxing as it is rewarding. Vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue, residency and long hospital hours, holding others' suffering and constantly combatting burnout are their own brand of intimacy killers. Get clear about priorities, hear and understand your partner's lived experience, and claim more joy and ease
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Putting your relationship first in a stew of sticky hands and constant needs can feel close to impossible. I know this. I've lived this. Kiddos do best, however, when their grown-ups are happy and working as a team. Strengthening your connection creates security and stability for everyone living in your home
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If there's one theme that most commonly arises in my work with poly/open relationships and blended families, it's "messy." But messy has meaning. Solidify values, create safe boundaries, and expand compassion to thrive in the relationship that is best for you.
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Marriage therapy after a rupture or loss is its own animal. We so badly want relief from the pain and get desperate to make sense of a world turned upside down. There are no fast fixes or easy answers. But it's safe in my room and marriages can heal from even the biggest hurts.
What is Secure Functioning?
You don’t have to have secure attachment to have secure functioning. Secure Functioning is behaving in ways that put our relationship before everything else. Resisting the normal human inclination to look out for ourselves and take what we want when we want it. Trusting that as we put our partner first, our partner is putting us first as well. When our actions say, “you may be a pain in the butt, but I know that I’m also a pain in the butt. No matter what, I have your back, I trust that you have mine, and whatever life brings, we are in each other’s care.”
The Tenets of Secure Functioning:
Transparency
Collaboration and Cooperation
Sensitivity
Justice and Fairness
Quick Repair
Protecting Each Other in Public AND in Private